RETRACE

I keep on mapping out the ways that had made us part of each other-- on when, where, why, what, and how it all started. But I am afraid to have missed on some of the details, humanly possible ones, that will serve as explanations to everything.

But among all these questions that are left unanswered my heart remains glad.

Why?

Pay attention. Because there may be lapses on remembering the when's, the where's, the why's, the what's, and the how's of it all, one thing remains and rings true:

I am confident that for the longest time running, when I will be asked about the who of it..

It is still YOU.

XDF

This Is the Most Detailed Image of the Universe Ever Captured

NASA has published the most detailed view of the Universe ever taken. It’s called the Extreme Deep Field—or XDF for short. It took ten years of Hubble Space Telescope photographs to make it and it shows some the oldest galaxies ever observed by humans, going 13.2 billion years back in time.

It’s a mindblowing, extremely humbling view. Not only for what it shows, but for what it doesn’t show. While this image contains about 5,500 galaxies, it only displays a tiny part of the sky, a ridiculously small slice of the Universe.

I want to share this beauty with you. 

Sources: http://hubblesite.org/newscenter/archive/releases/2012/37; http://thunderpopcola.tumblr.com

WHAT I AM READING NOW

My source of rescue in this creative commotion.
Let's take it "Bird by bird, buddy."

Advice #1 to kick off:

"You begin to string words together like beads to tell a story. You are desperate to communicate, to edify or entertain, to preserve moments of grace or joy or transcendence, to make real or imagined events come alive. But you cannot will this to happen. It is a matter of persistence and faith and hard work. So you might as well just go ahead and get started.” (Anne Lamott)

Q22

Augustus Waters, "The Fault in Our Stars" by John Green

I HAVE TO BE HONEST WITH YOU

I have told you this, countless times.

This is not my first attempt. I have been meaning to "write" something here-- something that will  give an utter explanation of how it feels to be a struggling penpusher.

My dashboard is now filled with drafts I have decided not to revert to.

For example today, I have no words in mind which makes this tussle a hassle in the muscle. I think (yes, I do) I am not in my best disposition to splatter all my musings in one sitting.

Time and again, I am in the middle of the decision of letting it all out. But for now, even the ink won't cooperate with me, I can feel how it has dried up, how it needs to be refilled immediately.

How.. when I could not even pen my thoughts seamlessly.

Give me back my reason for writing. Be my reason. Will you?

"22nd wish for self"

A Flower For My Thoughts

 Remember how everything remains beautiful;
how everything  stays better than the sum of its parts. 
  

Will you?

This is not my style but I would risk deviating for the sake of my amusement.

I used to have a lot of random notes stuck on my journal-- from friends and strangers--but it seems like I'm running out of those precious things now.

So now, I am  asking the world to speak their mind. All you have to do is to leave a piece of your heart in my inbox--deniecepineda[at]gmail[dot]com--and tell me anything, anything that you wish to say. 

Go ahead. Surprise me. 

"I have so much to write you, but I do not want to do so with paper and ink. I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face." (3 John 13)

Reminder: For Me, Noah and the Whale

But to His child, the Lord says: 

No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me; with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me to have an intensely personal relationship with Me alone, discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found. 

Only then will you be capable of the most perfect relationship that I have planned for you. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing… one that you cannot imagine.

I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me. Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am. Keep listening and learning the things that I tell you. Just waiting-that’s all.

Don’t be anxious. Don’t worry. Don’t look around at all the things others have gotten or that I have given them. Don’t look at all the things you think you want. Just keep looking up to Me. 

And then, when I know you are ready, I’ll surprise you with a love far wonderful than any you would dream of. You see, I’m working at this moment to have you both ready at the same time. 

Until you are satisfied exclusively with Me, and the life I’ve given you, you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me.

Dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love, I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with myself. “Know that I love you utterly. Be satisfied in Me."*

For in the perfect time, like a well-orchestrated symphony, I will finally meet you. I don't know when and how.. but for now, I will live each day waiting-- trusting and praying that all is well with you. 

Goodnight. 

Maybe Tonight

Excuse me while I forget about grammar and style. Excuse me while I da-da-da my thoughts away.

Maybe tonight I can say that there is more to life than going home late, all worn out from my day job and JUST call March 28 a day. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, I really do but I'm afraid all work and no play made Jill a dull girl. A dull girl in this circadian rhythm.

Maybe tonight I will have to do something about it by doing some things that I enjoy doing-- listen to happy to sappy songs, sing while reading Daniel Handler, sing while stalking, I mean, starving?

Perhaps it's a good time to throw an argument with someone, (cut the starving) eat sweets, eat mommy's breakfast? Or just digress from the usual weekday evening just for the heck of it.

"Freedom Night!" I miss yelling that.

What is "Freedom Night"?

When I was in college, me and my dorm mates would have this one sweet evening when we'll give any school-related stuff its well-deserved break. We'd watch movies, have our McD's delivered at 2 in the morning, pull a prank in the ladies' room, stay up late (really late) and just 'carpe diem'.

There are a lot of things that I would like to do and tonight may not be the best night, but it is not the worst either.

Q21

I have so much to say to you. 
I want to begin at the beginning 
because this is what you deserve. 
I want to tell you everything, 
without leaving any single detail. 
But where is the beginning?

And what is everything?

                                                               J.S. Foer

Tonight, I did a monologue in front of the massive moon, and it went this way:

"Believe me, Luna, it was implied: Never ever uncover your fears to a human being.

Or if you can't help it, remember Jonathan Safran Foer's words: '..you have to put your fears in order.'"

I would rather end up with someone who sees through the beauty of words, not necessarily, exactly the way I do, but for the basic parts, the fundamentals. For example, the beauty and grandeur of the words: "I love you."