7 | HAPPY MOMENT

This year's 25th of March might be the other side of the Earth's 4th of July.
(UST Baccalaureate Mass)

That happy moment when...

(1) you and your blockmates wrote messages on everybody's uniforms. Sweetest sabotage ever.
(2) you've gotten yourself an untimely tan but you just didn't care much.
(3) you took photos with your batchmates like there's no tomorrow.
(4) you sang the night away with Jay Sean's 2012 and Katy Perry's Fireworks like a broken record.
(5) you stood up on your chair and fell from it but you didn't give a dime 'cause nobody cared about poise, kids!
(6) you forgot about dinner because the whole event was a happy meal itself.
(7) you claimed the best pyromusical event happened right on top of your face/head.
(8) you finally got out from UST's Arch of the Centuries because you can (without being cursed)!
(9) you  enjoyed yourself with the recycled water of the university fountain with your friends.
(10) you (drenched and freezing) rode in a cab past midnight, trying to clench all the memories but you obviously can't.

 "... and in that moment, I swear we were infinite."

It was a night to remember.

6 | YOUR BEST FRIEND

Jai, my ally.

When I think of you, I think about the sea. 
Because there's something about you that moves me. Most probaby, your waves. The rhythm that can jive with the beat of my heart everytime I look for someone to keep my secrets with, except for myself.
You crack me open in the middle of woes, like the sea to its visitors.


When I think of you, I think about B&S and a lover on each side. 
We made a pact, remember? You even wrote it on my planner. You told me, we should be at the age of 21 before we commit ourselves in a relationship. It made me smile when I first read it because I am a year older than you. And by nature we know who can go first. But we broke the deal and life came afterwards. 


When I think of you, I think about my childhood.
We grew up together in the same town, went to the same school-church and were taught with the same values. We were practically one level and a room away from each other. And the memory of the church doorstep will always stay in the memory lane, although time made it concretely different now. 


When I think of you, I think about courage.
Because you've been through a lot yet you keep on reminding yourself to be fearless. You keep on moving forward despite the memories of recklessness and failures. I saw you grew up faster than you should be and got exhausted in the process. But you keep on moving and moving because you know Who holds you altogether. 


When I think of you, I think about family. 
Because we are obviously a part of each other's nearest and dearest. I told you last time, I really wished that you're staying here with us for some reasons. We had been together for 8 years and had memorized each other's bed positions and seating arrangement in the dining table.


And before I end this, I have 6 things for you to bear in mind.


The Six Rules of Maybe by Deb Calleti:


1. Respect the power of hope and possibilites. Begin with beleif. Hold onto it.

 
2. If you've known where you want to go, you're already half way there. Know what you desire but, more imporantly, why you desire it. Then go. 

3. Hopes and dreams and heart's desires require a clear path-get out of your own way 

4. Place hope carefully in your own hands and in the hands of others 

(*I say, in the hands of your Maker, greatly.)

5. Persist, if necessary.

6. That said, most importantly-know when you've reached an end, Quit, give up, do it with courage. Giving up is not failing-it's the chance to begin again." 

REMEMBER THAT IN GOOD AND BAD, I LOVE YOU JUST THE SAME.

"Death By Encroachment"

5 | LOVE

..., we can talk about your grandeur and you'll never be overrated.

Matter of fact, I can see you married to words.
For example: life, song, affair, child, bird, triangle, match, potion, etc.
They surely owe their significance to you, don't they?
I can hear you from the lips of my lover, 

Smell you (yes, I do) through the birth and the dew of each new day.

I can catch a taste of you from mother's specialty and say, "this, this is made out of love."

I have felt you in your most human and Divinest form, this, above all else.

Then I can say, love, you have been the representation of the things experienced by my senses.
And my explanation to life.  

4 | (WHAT MADE) YOUR DAY

This is how I beat the Monday blues:

1. Starting it right watching The Silence of the Lambs and Amelia on Star Movies.

Two of the best epic films that I've watched!

2. Getting on transit and seeing an angel smile back at me. *I melted in an instant.*
She looks so pretty with her fair skin, long lashes, smiling eyes, white overalls and dark blue doll shoes. I was hoping to take the baby's picture but her mom might get hysterical or something. 

That smile felt like a warm welcome to sit beside her while she was on her mommy's lap. From time to time, she looks at me, smiles some more and twirls the strands of my hair around her fingers. I just let her because it makes me happy.


And what does Webster say about strangers? Are babies strangers also? :-) I would want to believe that they're not. 

This is when she held my bag for a long time and fell down asleep.
Would you look at that and not be moved?

3. Meeting up with my best friend Jai at MOA.
We really had an awesome time together (as usual) spilling beans and caffeine-based stories at Seattle's and Café Breton! 

4. Exchange of (same) books and bookmarks as gifts with Jai! Yes, you might find this ridiculous, giving each other same stuff, but we're doing this since forever! 

Currently reading: John Green's Looking for Alaska 

We find these Scandinavian bookmarks nice. :-)

5. Waiting for dusk to say farewell and good night.

The ladies in front of us are having a pleasant time too, I bet. 

I had a very long and tiring Monday filled with so much giddiness and thoughts about love and life. 


I hope you had a nice one too. 

3 | YOUR PARENTS

Pronounced man and wife 21 years ago and counting

Me: Daddy, do you love mommy?

Daddy: Well of course, I do!

Me: Then tell her that.

*and mom would go pa-cute*

Daddy: Love you, mommy.

Mommy: Love you, too, dad!

Well, this may sound like a five-year old kid teasing. Imagine, little Agnes. But as for me, even if I know the truth about their love for each other, I'd still want to hear their exchange of 'I love yous' over and over.

Because we're still on the wedding month...

Here's a list of why Daddy Pineda and Mommy Pineda's marriage has been successful all throughout the years (facts I also learned inside our church):

1. Christ is central

Dad met mom inside the church. Actually, they became best friends before they became a couple. Both of them became deeply in love with Christ and their ministry first before they fell for each other. It's always Christ in the midst of everything.

2. Unconditional love

They share a love that keeps no record of wrongs. Unreserved. They can only do two things: to love and to love some more despite of.

3. Respect

One regards the other highly (opinions, preferences, dispositions, etc.). 

4. Commitment

And when I say commitment, I meant one that is: permanent, faithful and cooperative.

5. Significant investment of quality and quantity time

That foto above is proof. They went somewhere to spend a day alone. Once or twice a month they would go out of town or go to spa parlors. 

6. Healthy communication

Super healthy that they never miss a day without talking over the phone eventhough they see each other everyday. Well, my dad loves doing that. And sometimes, I would hear them talking before they go to bed. Don't ask me how I do it, but I'm a ninja like that. 

7. Commitment to grow

In faith and love, for certain. Well, talk about "growing old" with each other. 

8. Effective conflict resolutions

In which, I am the witness. I don't have to elaborate on how my dad makes it up to my mom, though, but every time they would have an argument, they'll go out of the house and talk somewhere else. Some far away place that's peaceful and uninterrupted.

9. Physical intimacy 

Who doesn't need this as a couple? I mean, c'mon!

10. Fun 

...with us. Because we, kids, are fun to be with, y'know! :-) On their days-off, the 'rents would always want to go to Tagaytay, drive out of town, cinemas or just stay at home eating like it's two-thousand and twelve.

Seriously, I thank God for my parents. 

I love them so much that every night I make it a point that I'd go to their room, lie betwixt them and tell them how my day went (even if I 'm spending most of my days at home these days. Hihi. They shouldn't mind if I tell them the same things I did the other day) or give them a massage.

And before they sleep, I'll kiss them on their foreheads and whisper a prayer of again, thanks. 

Yes, I'm 20 years old and I still love doing those stuff. Why not? 

2 | YOUR FIRST LOVE

"Firsts are important," and who said that?
Like in astrology, in life, in love.
The first declaration of whatnots.
But as we come into reality, we kept them hidden and forbidden on this side of the town.
Because both of us decided not to talk about them anymore. But yes, they will never be forgotten.

There are three things that remind me of you--
no, four things that I like to recall, for the sake of:

One, the plank.
It was raining then and you were the hero of the day. You said I should cross first.
Eventually, the plank was made into a bridge. You said, we'll cross it when we get there.
But before it happens, somebody decided to burn it.

Two, your perfume. It was the wormhole of my musings that short-circuited my entire psychology. Sometimes, I can still smell you in the sea of people but it attracts me less now.

Three, that damp and dreary Friday night. The affirmation of love that broke me into tears. But your words pulled it through and eventually, the rest of the days were ours.

Four, fireworks. A spectacular display of events under the glowing sky of December. It was like unto the movies and we were happy because again, it was ours. So happy that we had to say our year-end goodbyes.

Four and a hundred more. Maybe eight and a thousand.

"Remember 8 is forever," you said that.
But, dear, nothing on earth is.

MIX: RHYTHM OF RAINDROPS ON WEEPING WINDOWPANES

Tracklist:

1. Right As Rain •  Adele
2. Umbrellas and Elephants • Cinematic Sunrise
3. Raindrops • Regina Spektor
4. Another Rainy Day •  Corinne Bailey Rae
5. After the Storm • Mumford & Sons
6. Sleep All Day •  Jason Mraz
7. The Cold Is Warmth • Up Dharma Down
8. Banana Pancakes •  Jack Johnson

9. It's A Good Day • FFH 

10. Come On • Ben Jelen

I rest my soul. 

1 | INTRODUCE YOURSELF

I live in this zorb of memories and metaphors. And a hoarder of both. 

It feels good as much as it feels bad to be the one who always remembers, right? 

I know it has to happen to every human, but I tend to overdo things for my amusement. 

This place is enclosed by a membrane of dreams and possibilities. 

I have seen the beauty of life in countless things from here. 

And this place defines me. 

  

No worries, love, I still have 29 days to make myself known to you. 

WHEN 30 IS MORE THAN JUST A NUMBER

Last night, K sent me this. I think she's got the feeling that I need to get back on writing. And this is the first time I will ever do such a thing. So help me God. 

Challenge accepted. 

I have to brave everything in 30. 

30 days. 30 brief accounts. 30, for the record.

1 – Introduce yourself

2 – Your first love

3 – Your parents

4 – Your day

5 – Love

6 – Your best friend

7 – A happy moment

8 – A sad moment

9 – Your beliefs

10 – What you wore today

11 – Your siblings

12 – What’s in your bag

13 – This week

14 – What makes you laugh

15 – Your first kiss

16 – Your dreams

17 – Your favorite birthday

18 – Your favorite memory

19 – Your favorite place

20 – Something you regret

21 – Something that upsets you

22 – Something that makes you feel better

23 – Something that makes you cry

24 – Something that you miss

25 – Your lover

26 – Most painful breakup

27 – Second chance

28 – Your fears

29 – Your aspirations

30 – One last moment

Q18

Am I in love? --yes, since I am waiting. The other one never waits. Sometimes I want to play the part of the one who doesn't wait; I try to busy myself elsewhere, to arrive late; but I always lose at this game. Whatever I do, I find myself there, with nothing to do, punctual, even ahead of time. The lover's fatal identity is precisely this: I am the one who waits. 

A Lover's Discourse: Fragments | Roland Barthes

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE ONCE MISUNDERSTOOD MAN

"It's not Aria that I don't trust. It's the rest of the world. You know what I mean." 

-Byron Montgomery, PLL

Probably, for the countless fights and the sleepless nights full of desolation that we had, I have gathered up the sum of the things that I wanted to understand but couldn't. Questions that I've been longing to ask you, but wouldn't.


Maybe the truth is, I've been stubborn enough to dig in deeper and find out what's enclosed to your iron fists. You know why? Because, I was thinking that you can't understand me; that we took two extreme routes while growing up; that you were not as hurt as I was. That it was way TOO MUCH.


How foolish. How selfish.


For such a long time, I've been trying to put your guidance through the wringer because I wanted to fathom every single thing while I was growing up. BUT yes, I can always find you winning. I will always be tossed to the right lane and be forced to yield, simply because. What is the sense of calling you my father then, right?
At the end of each painful day of chastening, I will always find myself confessing my faults; humbled and exposed to my wrongdoings.


I CAN SEE IT FROM YOUR END. By and by.
I am sorry that you have been misunderstood. For the times when all I cared about is to push my selfish ways.


This part right here, I will have to thank you.
The truth is, you were the first one to see me cry over a heartbreak. You have felt the need of guidance under the pouring of my emotions. You were the one who offered me help in times that I'm losing my sanity. You, together with mom, took me by the hand when I was hanging by a cliff. You did it because of one thing I'm certain of: LOVE.
EVERYTHING WITH PRAYER AND BY THE GRACE OF GOD.


Thank you for everything and I thank the good Lord for having you as my father.


Please know this:
For a lot of people, you might have left the impression of being the Modern Hitler or the greatest villain in my life during my college years, but for me, you're my father. The one who only wants the best for me.


A father who fears that her daughter would be eaten up by the world that surrounds her. 


Probably you can say this to me:

"It's not you that I don't trust, darling. It's the rest of the world. You know what I mean." 

Yes, I do. And I love you.


Written in delay. Because it can be father's day everyday. :-) 

RHYME WITH REASONS